Painful Smoke

Why am I dreaming about death? It's exhausting and almost as bad as dreaming about typing on my blog. Last night I dreamt that I was holding my grandmother's hand as she faded in and out of "death state". My stomach and chest burned almost as if I had the cancer. Maybe I did. Her cigarette burned on her bedside table. A cloud of thick, intoxicating smoke filled the room. Although she was not "alive" she continually pressed her morphine drip button. She was not in pain. I was the one suffering, crying uncontrollably, as I held the hand of my dying grandmother.