Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Removal of the Fairy

Man and Woman- Together In Partnership

When Harry met Sally he spent a great deal of time confessing his love and commitment to her. Over time he encouraged her to move in with him and share the duties of the house. Harry suggested to Sally that they should put some money away in a savings account so that they could ensure their retirement. He also suggested that Sally take out a five-hundred thousand dollar life insurance policy just in case she tripped and accidentally fell out of the window while she was scrubbing cob webs. Sally agreed and headed to the local bank. That night Harry made it quite clear that neither of them would touch the money, unless of course they were in dire need.

On September 30th Harry woke up and told Sally that he needed to use some of the money for his godson Rich’s college fund and promised to repay the amount that he took out. Deep down Harry was craving the new Rolex watch that his buddy Tom had shown him in the local jewelry store window. Sally encouraged Harry to give as much money as needed feeling confident that he would pay the money back. Harry went straight to the bank and took out half of their savings. As he was heading to the jewelry store he quickly placed his wedding ring in his pocket and walked into the store.

Once inside he noticed a beautiful blond standing behind the counter. He quickly introduced himself and one thing led to another. Harry and his new found mistress spent the day on the beach starring at the matching Rolex watches that reflected the sun. It wasn’t until dinner time that Harry made his way home.
Harry was greeted at the door by the smell of turkey and dumplings and Sally’s smiling face.
“Hi hon, it looks like you had a wonderful day.”
“It went ok,” Harry replied.
“Did Rich like the college fund you set up for him?”
“Oh yes, of course”
Sally could tell that Harry was not in the mood for talking so she let the conversation die. He insisted on needing a shower before dinner and would be back soon.

The next morning Harry woke up and once again needed to see his blond-haired beauty. He told Sally that he needed to be a good godfather again and buy Demi his first car. Sally expressed to Harry how happy she was to have such a special man in his life and suggested he use some of their retirement savings to do so. Harry kissed Sally on the forehead and headed to the bank. He once again removed a significant amount of the savings and used his trusty American Express to take his mistress to the local spa where they enjoyed each others company.
Harry returned at dinner time and once again took a shower and briefly discussed the day’s events with Sally.

That evening Harry could not get his blond mistress out of his head. He had to see her once again. When he awoke Harry told Sally that he needed to give his third godson Demise a down-payment on his house. Sally was beginning to wonder why her husband all of a sudden felt this dire need to help his godsons. Harry assured her that everything was alright and he would pay the money back. He expressed to Sally that they were blessed to have three great godsons, because everyone knew great things came in threes, and he couldn't possibly help one and not the others. With reluctance, she suggested that he use their savings account and credit cards to come up with the money.

Once again Sally cleaned house, mowed the lawn, and took out the trash while Harry was off at a bed and breakfast with his mistress. He had such a relaxing day that once again he did not return home until dinner. When Harry returned, Sally asked him how Demise liked the down-payment for his house. Harry stuttered and said “umm…it was fine,” and headed to the shower. Sally was shocked that someone who just received twenty thousand dollars could only find it to be “fine”. Sally needed time to think it through and headed to bed leaving Harry alone to eat his dinner.

A month passed and Harry knew that Sally was on to him. Sally suggested that they go to the bank and remove some of their savings to go on a vacation to Mexico. Harry told Sally that there would be no way for him to get away from work so she did not need to bother. Sally decided to call the bank and find out how much money they had in the account and how much interest they had acquired. She was shocked to find out that their account was empty and their credit cards were tapped out.

When Harry arrived home that night Sally immediately confronted him. “How could you deplete our savings and rack up our credit cards?” They spent the next two hours screaming, throwing, and breaking numerous items in the house. Sally kept questioning and finally Harry had had all he could take. If you say one more word it will be the death of you. Sally was already in mid sentence as her body tumbled into the rose bush. Harry wiped his eye brow and said, “this is the way of the world, thank goodness for life insurance.”

The next morning the local newspaper reported that Sally, wife of Harry, had tripped on a ladder cleaning spider webs and fell to her death from a second story window. No further investigation will occur.

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